Q&A With Nila Ibrahimi On School

Here is the transcript of our Q&A with Nila Ibrahimi, a 17-year-old from Afghanistan who is currently living in Canada. If you would like to listen to the recording, see the “archived webinars” section at the bottom of our homepage.

Laila: Hi everyone! So today we will be having a Q&A on all things school-related with Nila. So, Nila, thank you so much for being here. Would you like to introduce yourself? Maybe tell us how old you are, where you live, and anything about your background you would like to share.

Nila: Thank you so much, Laila. I am happy to be here. So I am 17 years old, a rising senior in a private school in Vancouver, Canada, and I originally come from Afghanistan. I could say it is my third or second year in Canada. So I came, I left after the change of regime in Afghanistan and everything. First, I was in Saskatchewan, then this was my first year in Vancouver.

Laila: Perfect, thank you. So the first question is one of the ones we are asked the most about it, which is what was it like starting school in a new place and what tips would you give to someone experiencing something similar? And feel free to talk about both the academic and social parts of school.

Nila: So coming into a new school, of course, it’s very difficult. Especially when you have just entered a new country where the culture is new for you, you have difficulty with the language, and stuff like that. So I’d say some of the tips are it takes time. Be patient with yourself. Try not to like take it really seriously. Every small interaction where you don’t feel understood, where you don’t feel seen, don’t take it as that can define who you are as a person and that it can define your values. Definitely don’t do that. And I think just be patient with yourself because now that I look back of course I have had different experiences than the beginning of the year when I was new to Saskatchewan and the school I was attending there, which was a public school, and then comparing the beginning of the year here in Vancouver to now, there is a lot of changes. So I would say I wasn’t very patient with myself. I took it really hard on myself, of course comparing my life and school here in Canada with Afghanistan, which was very different. And I’d say I have had a lot to learn culturally but also academically. And I’d say with time, it’s all going to be okay. But also you have to realize what you want to hold onto and what you want to adjust to the new environment you are in. So definitely holding onto those values are more important than fitting into where you have arrived. So yeah, I’d say these are my tips.

Laila: Perfect, thank you so much. That’s really helpful to hear. So building off that question, coming to a new school, what are some resources that you found at your school? Whether it be talking to teachers or counselors or friends or any online resources that you found helpful or ones you wished you had used.

Nila: I’d say there were definitely a lot of resources. I was lucky because I go to a private school here in Vancouver. And something that really helped me was just being reflective of my own journey with myself, I mean apart from those resources because it doesn’t matter how many resources there are if you don’t take on it or make use of it yourself. So I’d say the first step was being reflective of myself via recording vlogs talking about my days and reflecting upon what happened because that really helped, at least in my own journey. And also journaling helped a lot. But also I’d say talking to a counselor, talking to my teachers. I’d say I have had difficulties academically as well because the education system is very different here compared to Afghanistan. It is more project-based, teamwork, stuff like that, whereas in Afghanistan it is all just memorization and how fast you can memorize and remember things. So I have had to adjust in that aspect as well. But yeah, I’d say talking to teachers and counselors has been really helpful. And I know it may not be available to everyone in every school, but I have been one of the lucky ones to have it.

Laila: That’s great! Thank you. Ok so now onto the next question which is kind of zooming out of school but more into coming into a new country. So I know earlier you mentioned some of the shocks you had, could you maybe go into detail on what the biggest surprises were and hardest things you had getting adjusted to and tips you had regarding those?

Nila: I’d say it’s very difficult to point out specific moments where you were like oh this is where I experienced cultural shock. It is just like the small things where you go through throughout your days, especially like the first day of school because that is where you are actually interacting with society, with the people, that community and stuff. So I mean I can’t remember a specific moment, but I have had times where I’m like this is something I can learn from, this is something I didn’t actually know about. Especially when I learned about the indigenous people of Canada, I knew nothing about that before so learning the history was really interesting to me. When I take the actual course next year, but that’s off-topic, but I’d say my tips for fitting into a new place are first of all not using the term “fitting in.” Fitting in is when you change yourself in order to be accepted by the people around you, but belonging. It is okay if some people don’t vibe with you and you don’t feel accepted, seen, or heard with them. It’s just going to take time if you get to explore, meet new people, and just be okay with not vibing with specific people because that doesn’t determine who you are as a person. But then, yeah, getting to know more people, exploring, and when you feel like you belong to that group, when you feel like you don’t have to pretend, that is when you actually have found your people. So I have had that experience in Vancouver and am very grateful to be surrounded by the people I don’t have to pretend with, and I can actually just be myself and feel seen and heard. So yeah, that’s my tip. I hope I answered your question, since I think I forgot the question.

Laila: Yeah no that was perfect, thank you. So the next question is another one that we get a lot, and it is related to college. So I know that you will be a senior in high school next year, or a 12th grader in high school next year and are currently in the middle of the college process. So what is some advice and information you would give to highschoolers who are curious about the college process and information you wish you had known if you were in 9th grade or 10th grade?

Nila: Is this for newcomers or highschoolers overall?

Laila: Newcomers specifically, but it’s okay if the advice is more general.

Nila: So my own experience is very different because, first of all, I didn’t finish 9th grade. And then I had a break from high school for a whole year and I got to skastzshecuan and could resume my studies for 10th grade where I went to a public school, the education system wasn’t really great. And then I moved to Vancouver where I faced a lot of difficulties with the education system but then as soon as I entered the private school I saw everyone was ready for applying to university and had everything sorted out, or at least seemed to. I just noticed that we start applying to universities at the beginning of our 12th grade or senior year. So that was a big big shock for me. It took me a lot of time to like figure out what to do, find the resources that I needed, work with ACT and SAT tutors. So that was another thing because I didn’t know that I needed to take standardized tests like that whereas like students here start preparing for that since grade 8 or grade 9. So that was something that I kind of struggled with and recently let go of it because I know that I didn’t have enough time to prepare so that wouldn’t be a fair competition. But I’d say having the resources is really really helpful. If I didn’t have the counselors that I work with, I think there are three now that I work with, if I didn’t have them it would be definitely more stressful than it is right now. So I think if there are more resources like that available to newcomers or refugees, it would make things really really easier for them. So I’d say in the case of applying to universities and stuff, it is just the resources that are going to help.

Laila: Perfect, thank you. So this brings us to the last question, which is more open-ended. And it is if there is anything I haven’t asked about or something we haven’t covered that you would like to share regarding advice for someone who has recently resettled in a new place, what would you say?

Nila: This is hard.

Laila: Yeah, this is hard, you can take some time to think about it.

Nila: I’d say just be patient with yourself. Nothing is going to be, you’re not going to figure things out overnight. It’s going to take time and be okay with changing yourself. When you look back and notice I’m not the same person anymore, it’s okay because it’s normal. Being in a different environment in a different country with different people, of course it’s going to have effects on you as a person. So embrace that, embrace those change and just enjoy the process.

Laila: Amazing, so that wraps up our Q&A session. Thank you so much for everything you shared, Nila. It is really just so helpful and informative. And thank you for being here.

Nila: Thank you. I really am glad that you started such a thing. I think it’s going to be helpful to a lot of people.

Laila: Thank you!